A Visit from Jobs and Gates

Feedback I get from time to time is that my articles are “too technical”. Well it is after all a technology column; however, I am mindful that many business people appreciate plain English once in a while. So my approach is to keep it fairly technical throughout the year, then ease the throttle back for the Holidays.

This year’s December piece is presented in verse, with apologies to Clement Clarke Moore (and Henry Livingston, just in case).

‘Twas a late night last weekend, when all through the house
Just one thing was stirring: my infrared mouse.

My finger was clicking on web sites with care
In hopes that I’d find some good ideas there.

With a deadline upon me, there I on my laptop
Was hoping to cure some severe writer’s block.

My column was quite far from being a wrap,
But my brain was settling for a long winter nap,

When all of a sudden there arose such a clatter,
“My hard drive,” I thought, “just blew one of its platters!”

I pulled out the cord and slammed down the top
But no matter my actions, it just wouldn’t stop.

There were whistles and shouting and even some screams
So I opened the top and looked back at the screen;

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, and a six-pack of beer.

(Beer? Just a trick I use all the time;
As Dylan would say, I’m just making it rhyme.)

“I’m telling you Bill,” I heard Steve Jobs say,
“Mac OS beats Win 7 any old day.”

“Ha!” countered Gates, “Not only not true
But our SharePoint beats any old software from you!”

“Yeah right!” replied Jobs. “And here’s something more:
Nothing from Microsoft beats iPhone 4.”

“Well if Apple’s so good then why is it so
That our Office products keep us rolling in dough?”

“MacBook Air”,
– “Outlook”,
– “CRM”;
They argued like that till a quarter past ten.

Then as snow leopards ere the wild hurricane hide,
They closed down my windows and vanished inside.

Wide-eyed toward the laptop I drew in my head;
I wanted to know I had nothing to dread.

“It can’t be that this strange vision was true;
I must have dozed off for a minute or two.”

That thought made me feel I had nothing to fear,
But why then was there such a strong smell of beer?

(There! I worked it in.) And now let me say:
Happy Holidays to you all, and to all a good day!

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